What is the meaning of resilience? Does it mean you are physically strong like a football player or someone in the army? Does it mean you don’t need other people? Or does it mean you don’t have problems?
No, it doesn’t mean any of those. Those are common myths about resilience.
The meaning of resilience
The meaning of resilience is the ability to recover from any difficulty in life quickly. According to Psychology Today, “Resilience is the psychological quality that allows some people to be knocked down by the adversities of life and come back at least as strong as before. Rather than letting difficulties, traumatic events, or failure overcome them and drain their resolve, highly resilient people find a way to change course, emotionally heal, and continue moving toward their goals.”
I have interviewed over seventy people about their struggles in their life. These are some of the struggles of people I have had on my show: abused, raped, involved in a house fire left with over 70% burns, born with dwarfism, suicidal, had terrible anxiety, had eating disorders, have bipolar disorders, being in a mental hospital for many years, and the list goes on.
Each of them has their own unique story. The people I have interviewed also have a lot in common. Each of them built resilience, overcame their challenges in their lives, and created their definition of success.
For those who have been following me for quite some time know my story. For those who don’t, here it is. Kids bullied me for 15 years of my life. For many reasons like my ethnicity/religion, for being too skinny (I would come home with bruises on my arm crying), people called me ugly, I wasn’t athletic, and people made fun of how I spoke.
English wasn’t my first language. I went to speech therapy for seven years. I would be pulled out of class to put in a program to help me speak “properly.” The other kids made fun of me in the first 15 seconds of my presentations. I always had to repeat myself because people wouldn’t understand me. People perceived me as shy because I barely spoke when in reality, I was afraid to talk in groups. My confidence and self-esteem were extremely low.
I bounced back from the years of bullying and low self-esteem. In college, I made it a goal to become confident and social. 11 years after my freshman year in college, I did precisely that.
I became an inspirational speaker, a podcaster listened in over 30 countries, interviewed over 70 people around the world, and I can talk to anyone I meet.
That is my meaning of resilience. I went through a particular challenge in my life, and I bounced back from that challenge. You can be going through something else in your life. You can be going through a breakup, your parents are going through a divorce, or you could be diagnosed with a mental illness. It seems like it may be the end of the world.
Why is resilience so important?
Without resilience, unhealthy coping mechanisms start to form like taking a lot of drugs, alcohol, getting involved with the wrong crowd, getting in trouble, or suicidal thoughts.
When you are not resilient, it’s hard to bounce back from difficulty and take care of yourself. When you don’t take care of yourself, it is hard to be present with others.
When you have resilience:
– You don’t give up on your goals so quickly.
– It is easier to bounce back from challenges.
– You don’t let a particular challenge define you.
– You have increased performance in school and your regular activities.
How can you create resilience?
You will have your journey and learn from them. You will learn from your trials and tribulations.
– Create morning and night rituals. Morning rituals help set the tone for the day and night rituals help you turn your mind off when you are stressed, leading to better sleep. The most successful people in the world have rituals.
– Take care of your health. Get proper sleep, eat nutritious food, meditate, limit your screen time, exercise, and have downtime to have fun. The more you take care of yourself, the better you will feel about yourself.
– Surround yourself with positive people. Surrounding yourself with toxic individuals can harm your physical and mental health. Make sure to remove those toxic individuals from your life and be around people who bring out the best in you.
– Pursue your purpose or something that creates meaning in your life. Your purpose in your life will not take away your problems but what it will help you do is shift the focus of your problems to something much greater than yourself. While pursuing your purpose, it is also going to require you to step outside your comfort zone. The more you step outside your comfort zone, the more progress you will make, and the more progress you make, the better you feel about yourself.
– Trusting the process. Unexpected and unfortunate things will happen in your life. It’s not if it will happen; it’s when it will happen. It’s not going to be pleasant. No one is going to enjoy a friend passing away, a divorce of their parents, or a friend stabbing them in the back. When adverse events, embrace them. Embracing these events, accepting the situation you are in, working hard to overcome those challenges, and having faith the stars will eventually align.
What is the meaning of resilience to you?
You are going through your own set of challenges. You have an area of weakness or were dealt with certain cards in your life. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to keep blaming other people for the bad things happening in your life? Are you going to keep blaming yourself?
Or are you going to take control of your life? The two things in your life that you can control is your actions and your mindset.
Think about what one struggle you have in your life. What is it going to take for you to overcome that struggle?
Commit right now that you are going to do whatever it takes to overcome that struggle.
Commit to being resilient.
I have a program on resiliency
If you are interested in learning more on how you can implement these tips in your life, click here.